what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
