in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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