so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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