Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
