She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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