I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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