I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
