Three words: puerto rican gang bang
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize