My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
