first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
