her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
