don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
