sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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