Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
