whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
