Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I see more hoeing in ur future
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
