We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
