I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
