I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
