youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
