***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I have post one night stand depression
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
