They should really pass out barf bags in church
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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