Having a random hookup so left but love u
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
