Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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