I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
