I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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