Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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