So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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