Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
