why didn't you poke me back
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize