I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
