More tranny stories later!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize