I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
