i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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