Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
