Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
