shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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