if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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