the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
