i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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