just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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