Don't you send me to vm
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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