Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
