also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
