I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
