i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
so much tequila, so little girl.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
