I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize