summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
