In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
