if i can run in heels then i can drive
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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