im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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it was like eating out sand paper
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
