I swear she didn't look like that last week.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Randomize
