I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
