Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
