Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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