why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
