they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I enjoy the company of your penis
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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