Cold hands, warm shart.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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