I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
