I heard we made out
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
